Stop Firefighting Tantrums.
Start Guiding Them.
A science-backed approach to toddler emotions—blending Montessori, Positive Discipline, and Neuroscience.
By Alexandre Pereira — author of Calm in the Chaos.
★★★★★ on Amazon
"The manual that should have come with my toddler."
Instant, word‑for‑word scripts for ages 2–6
Why Logic Fails During Meltdowns
The science explains why your toddler physically cannot listen when they are screaming. It’s not defiance, it's biology.
Why 'Stop It!'
Backfires
You can’t teach a drowning child how to swim. Learn to soothe the nervous system before you teach the lesson.
The 90-Second Emotion Rule
Emotions are chemical events that last 90 seconds. Learn to ride the wave instead of fighting it.
Stop Saying 'No'
All Day
Reduce power struggles by 80% just by changing your home environment, not your child.
Reclaim Your Evenings.
Dealing with a tantrum isn't just exhausting—it steals your limited free time. Calm in the Chaos translates heavy neuroscience into simple scripts that stop the spiral before it starts.- Prevent the 20-minute scream-fest.
- Protect your child's nervous system.
- Preserve your sanity.
More free tools
Hi, I'm Alexandre.
I’m a tech leader and father. I don't rely on "gut feeling"—I rely on data. I built ToddlersAI to translate complex neuroscience papers into practical code for your home. No fluff. Just what works.
Images are AI‑generated illustrations to protect children’s privacy. The parenting scripts are curated by a real parent using Montessori, Positive Discipline, and neuroscience principles.
© Toddlers AI. All rights reserved.
The Upstairs vs. Downstairs Brain
When a toddler melts down, their pre-frontal cortex (logic) disconnects. They are operating purely from the amygdala (emotion).
Instead of "Stop crying!", try: "I see you are having a hard time. I am here."
This is Step 1 of the CALM Method found in Chapter 2 of my book
Connection Before Correction
Why "Stop it!" never works during a meltdown.
Dealing with a tantrum isn't about controlling the child; it's about lending them your calm. When a toddler is overwhelmed, their logic brain turns off. They literally cannot learn until they feel safe. Try the C.A.L.M. Method:- Come close (get on their level).
- Acknowledge feelings ("You are so frustrated").
- Listen without fixing.
- Model the calm you want to see.
Master the full C.A.L.M. framework in Chapter 2 of the book.
The 90-Second Emotion Rule
It’s just chemistry. It will pass.
Did you know a surge of emotion only lasts about 90 seconds in the body? Everything after that is us re-triggering the feeling with our thoughts. The Secret: Don't react in the first 90 seconds. Take a Parent Pause. Breathe. Let the wave crest and break. Only then, respond. If you stay steady, their nervous system will sync with yours.
Learn how to stop fueling the fire. Read the 'Co-Regulation' guide in the book.
The "Yes" Space
Change the environment, not the child.
Imagine living in a house where everything is too high, too heavy, or "forbidden". You'd have meltdowns too. A "Yes Space" is an area where your toddler can explore freely without hearing "NO" every 5 seconds.- Low shelves they can reach.
- Safe items they can touch.
- Independence designed into the room.
- Result: 80% fewer power struggles instantly.